Eyes on the sky and a heart made of sun

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“We are all in the the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.” -Oscar Wilde

I stumbled across this quote today. I was listening to a song on Youtube, and the particular video I chose was a simple lyric video featuring several inspirational quotes blinking by as the song went on. This one, said above by Oscar Wilde, caught my eye and caused my mind to focus in on it’s potential meaning and wander into one of those silent rants in my head that occur all too often. Here is a little bit of what I was thinking.

Yes, we are all in the gutter. We are all born sinners, it’s inevitable. We’re human, fallible and we do questionable things and never seem to know why. Absolutely no being on this planet is perfect, and it will stay that way forever. It can be hard for some to accept this. But I, (first name), will confidently tell you, that I accept this. Yeah I’m in the gutter, a pretty objectionable one, I’m a sinner. My appearance, my opinions, my values, are not perfect. People hurt me. I get upset a good handful of times a day. Nowadays I genuinely don’t enjoy where I am in life, for reasons not worth mentioning. But I, as I’m sure Oscar was as well until he passed in 1900 at the age of 47, keep my eyes to the stars (metaphorically speaking).

My life changed a lot this summer and emotionally I took a lot of bullets. Everything that happened and all the decisions I faced though helped me realize that I can’t let other people control my life, my thoughts, my reputation, nothing. Simplicity is beautiful, really. It was very hard for me to let certain people go and give up certain things that I’d grown so used to. I’ve lost friends and for a bit I struggled internally with the coping of feeling so alone. I’m really rather enjoying it now though, letting all those unsaid things go has given me room to think. Room to grow. I guess you could say I’ve always been terrified of independence, but now I absolutely love it. Everyday brings me new things. I see different smiles and analyze different aspects of beauty.
When we started these blogs, our first objective was writing an “About Me”. Mrs. Crawford’s advice: Write about your purpose. My About Me, if you read it, doesn’t necessarily describe my purpose. I don’t really know how I would describe “my purpose”…I’ve always been one to push myself to sometimes-extreme lengths to stand out and/or prove people wrong. I do things that are not socially acceptable. I say things people are usually too scared to. If I disagree with something, I will let that be known and I will give reason. I change my appearance a lot, simply because..well..because I can. When I get complimented I reply with “thank you” no matter what because that’s what you do when you’re proud. I have no shame in anything I say or do because I utilize my body and personality to show people that it’s possible to be confident beyond the norm. How do I achieve staying so care-free and comfortable? Keep my eyes on the stars…above reality. Where there is no pain and chances lie uncountable. A soul has no bounds..and I will never take that for granted.


Photo attributed to …
“Stars” by Tzvika Stein  and licensed under CC 2.0.

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