I lie here,
But I suppose they had a reason.
I have, once again, been knocked down.
A pessimist I am not, but
I will not get up,
Not this time.

I will rest gracefully below this sky.
I will study what I see.
And what I see above me are clouds.
In those clouds I see what I need.
But it seems, it is here
nestled in grass and one with Earth
Is what I want.

I ponder
When my heart ceases to race,
When my heart ceases to be,
What time will the sun read in this sky?
As the wind envelopes and hugs what is left,
I ask that it sings such a hum,
That I am never truly gone.



BeFunky Design

Hollow breath and numb palms,
I’m pacing here,
I took the keys and the world.
I’ve got it right here in my hands, this life.
A cliff at my feet and no fear.

The one you love the most is the one who knows exactly where the door is
And knows exactly where it leads.
I wasn’t supposed to go like this,
I’ve got it right here in my hands, this life.

Dares are promises someone else couldn’t keep.
Someone weak
Someone sober.
I’ve got it right here in my hands, this life.

It’s funny, how you took everything I had and
You didn’t even have to the decency to ask me to go
You told me.
But we all say things we don’t mean,
Right, love?

One square shove in the shoulders sent me into
This eternal pirouette with my eyes closed and my soul gaping open and screaming…
I cradle her right here in my hands, this life.
There is something so beautiful and dangerous about letting her fly that just feels so

Image created by Me.


Goodbye to me
Goodbye to you.
And goodbye to those in between.
There were so many things,
Among a lack things,
Unsaid words.
I gave it all.
They accepted,
And all those in between.
This night is new
Fire replenished,
There’s a light at the end of the tunnel.


Staring at a candle at 2 a.m., it brings out the worst.
The room I rest in is black, this candle the only thing I see. The flame itself is yellow at the tip and melts to a deep orange towards the bottom. The thin pool of liquified wax simmering at the top is a dark purple, below it, a light lavender. It reminds me of how a clean blanket makes you feel.
Staring at this candle at 2 a.m., it’s bringing out the worst.
I’m really, really sorry. In this black room I’m sitting on this couch that is not mine. I’m asking myself, is there anything I should’ve done? Is there something I shouldn’t have? What could I have done better? I tried really, really hard and I don’t think anyone noticed. They never do.
Staring at a candle at 2 a.m., it brings out the worst.
Lukewarm dishwater.
Warm-smelling lotion.
Cold hands.
Uneven fingernails.
My best friend.
Coffee stains.
White lamp light
Home is a person not a place
I’m alone.
Rough towels.
If you didn’t see it,
Don’t say it.
I can’t see here
In this dark room
Where I cannot breathe.
Staring at a candle at 2 a.m., it brings out the worst.

Welcome to Hell

Somewhere dark
Somewhere sinking.
My dreams are black,
Then blue,
And somewhere milky inbetween.
God it hurts, what is that?
A parade of pleads in my head…
“Mom please come home”
“Baby please don’t leave”
There’s tears and and there’s blood
Tears so hot, so breathtaking
And blood so shy, it is I who ever sees it.
So warm, why is it so warm?
Choking, gagging, grasping and thrashing
For a hand.
A hand to hold me
To heal me.
I don’t know where I am
I don’t know who I am.