This is the internet. People will see this, people that I don’t know and people that don’t care. That’s okay though, writing is how I release things, much like many other millennials.
It’s 12:11am. I’m someone who doesn’t sleep much. I’ve been away from home for roughly two weeks now and almost every one of the nights I’ve been awake until somewhere between 2 and 4am. Like I’ve previously said countless times, and will continue to, I have severe anxiety. It’s been controlling my actions for these two weeks (more than usual). I can’t sleep. When I do, my dreams are terrible. I’m not much a dreamer really, but when I am it’s horrible. The feeling my dreams give is like…drowning in clouds. Can you imagine that?
Enveloped in oxygen
I cope with pyrophobia (the fear of fire and excessive heat) as well. The worst of my dreams usually depict me being trapped in a burning house. About 4 years ago around the age of 13 I began to cry in my sleep regularly, say, 4 times a week. I wake up having heavy, uneven, burning breathing pattern that crying causes, and of course tears. Dreams cause it, other times not. It’s just part of the anxiety. It stinks warning everyone if I stay there after a long Friday…“Don’t be alarmed dude. I cry in my sleep.” Or what’s the worst is, well let me just explain first. Most of the time, I spend weekends with a core group of friends out of town. It’s a diverse group, and most times a good twelve of us end up under a roof, all from different schools (yeah, her momma’s got a big ass house, lot’s of cabinet space, lots of cereal). So the worst is when I doze off, begin to slumber-sob, and someone, say from a different school, that I ended up with due to our common friend, urges me up frantically with that “what-the-hell-are-you-okay-or-just-weird?” look in their eye and I wake up and realize immediately what’s happening and casually pull that “Dude don’t be alarmed. I cry in my sleep.” card. So…yep. Crying in sleep =
Image above created by Me.