To those that have taken the time to snoop my “About Me” section on this blog, you may (or may not have) noticed the mentioning of my chair. If you haven’t, well, now you know. And to those who know me, you’ll know exactly what I’m talking about here.
I received some VERY EXCITING news today. My 17th birthday is in 11 days, June 12th. And today I found out my new chair will be delivered!! I’ve been waiting for about 9 months..and trust me, the newbie is long overdue.
The reason I need my chair is something very few people know. There’s only about 5 friends that I’ve thoroughly explained it to, and even they will never fully understand. Honestly, not even doctors fully understand. It’s not that I don’t trust my friends with the information, it’s simply that I will never let my disease be a label. The disease I have is extremely common but I have a very mild case of it. Think of it as I “barely have it”. 7 years ago, I had spine surgery that left me in a wheelchair. Before the operation, I could technically walk, but not comfortably, safely, or for long distances without falling. After the surgery, I remained bed-bound in the hospital for about a week until I returned home and was couch-bound for a couple months. I was put in physical therapy 4 days a week, 2 hours each session. The expected outcome of the surgery I had was to walk on my own. Obviously that didn’t work out. There were benefits, though. Benefits that I won’t mention. Just know there were some. The therapy was INTENSE. I was 10 years old and didn’t fully understand what was happening to my body. I fell into a horrible state of depression and my body shut down. After about 6 months of therapy, my therapists and parents realized the situation was harming me more than it was helping.
Along came Esther. (:
Esther is my chair. Yes I named it. People name their cars all the time. Same thing right?
A common misconception people have when we meet is that I cannot walk at all or that I’m paralyzed.
BOTH OF THESE ARE 1,000% FALSE!!
I’m on my feet a little every day. I take the stairs every once in a while if I have someone with me just in case God forbid I fell or something. I have full feeling in all parts of my body (yes even my legs).
I would honestly call Esther my best friend. No one will ever understand my emotional attachment to my chair. Esther is my way of life. She’s a ladder, a footstool. I have anxiety when my chair’s in another room. When someone sits in it without asking I want to flatten their car tires. Nothing comes between Esther and myself. So when I heard today that my new one was coming in, my first thought was, I wonder how I’ll respond emotionally? I’m expecting to cry. It’ll be tears of joy. Again, something y’all wouldn’t understand. Despite how happy I’ll be, it will be strange/hard letting Esther go. It’s the only chair I’ve ever had, yeah she’s falling apart and my body has outgrown her, but..it’s just the emotional attachment.
Esther’s been through so much in the passed 7 years. I’m so thankful. Hopefully this new one will help me make countless more memories.
This is Esther and myself…
(She’s also a decent shoulder to lean on)
As I mentioned before, being thrusted into so many drastic changes in regards to my body and lifestyle sent me into a depressional state that lasted for years that followed and still affects me today. I just want to say though, if you are someone living with things that aren’t the societal norm, it’s okay! Although it may be hard, and people are inconsiderate, you are human. And humanity is a beautiful thing…it’s all about the complex simplicity of individuality. There is little in life anyone deserves to be ashamed of; especially any way that they carry themselves, whether that be by your choice or nature’s choice. We all follow the man-made roads that connect us all, but few are brave enough to stray and be different. When given the option, take the alley everyone else is too scared of.
Photo provided by Me.